It’s scarf time. For those of you that are soccer fans, you know the importance of the scarf to the culture of supporters. For those of you new to soccer, you may wonder why scarves are a thing (especially when it’s 100 degrees in the summer), but trust us- you need a scarf. It’s like a towel in Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. We’ve had 2 scarves before this but we’re all sold out of those so we need a new scarf for all our new (and old) fans to celebrate our inaugural season in USL PRO. So without further ado:
Our new 2015 St. Louligans scarf was a design submitted by Mitch Morice because he likes the idea of everyone having a professional wrestling belt. Because trophy’s are one thing, but here in ‘Merica, real champions have a belt. People may ask, “What the hell are you Champions of?” Our response is simply, “What have you got?” We encourage our members to make up their own title within the group, aka Vice President of whatever. Now we encourage you to decide what championship your Belt/Scarf symbolizes. Maybe you’re Champion of the Sun, maybe you’re the YouTube Intergalactic Tag Team Champions of Silliness, seriously- whatever you want it to be. (within reason- the commissioning body reserves the right to revoke championships that put the Louligan brand in too serious a position or are otherwise unflattering to our general sensibilities.)
Now to the important part. How do you acquire one of these amazing acrylic demonstrations of soccer support? Right now we are accepting preorders for scarves. To get on the list and assure we have one reserved for you, go to PayPal and send $20 to firstname.lastname@example.org. Feel free to give more, but $20 gets you a scarf and a Louligan decal suitable for sticking to stuff. Preorders deadline is FEB 2nd, Chupacabra Day. There will be scarves available after the preorder while supplies last. IF you don’t preorder the price will be $25 and you won’t get the decal. They call that incentive. Please order early and often. Don’t miss the boat and then cry that you’re freezing this July when the rest of us are all bundled up and warm with our scarves. If you live outside the St. Louis Metro Area and can’t make it to STLFC matches, you can also pre-order a scarf. Cost of scarf (no decal) shipped within the continental USA is $25. Use the same PayPal address and make sure to include your address in the notes. Scarves should be here in time for the beginning of the STLFC season and will be available for pick-up at any tailgate party or other Louligan events. If we get them in before the season begins we may schedule a preseason party.
You may be asking yourselves- what will you do with the TONS & TONS of cash you raise from selling these scarves? I’m glad you asked. We DO NOT make tons of cash. We usually make just enough to cover the cost of the scarves plus some extra ones to give to people important to our group or people that sponsor our events and etc. Any leftover cash goes to buying more scarves and shirts to sell and also to support our various endeavors related to the group. We have to pay for website hosting fees, podcasting equipment that we spill beer on, bribes to make legal problems go away, paint & materials for banners & tifo, tailgating “supplies” and various other legitimate & illegitimate expenses. IF we ever get to a point where we have a significant amount of money in our account I fully expect that one of us will steal it and skip town. But so far we haven’t hit that magic number to move to Costa Rica.
Now while there was some truth in the preceding paragraph, the main reason we sell shirts & scarves is because we do not charge a membership fee. It costs nothing to join the Louligans and we want to keep it that way. We rely on the generous spirit of our members to keep us afloat. Many Supporters Groups charge membership dues (and that’s fine, I’m not making any sort of judgement) and in return for those dues you usually get a scarf or shirt or other perks. We just don’t require the purchase. If you’re completely broke you can still be a Louligan. That said, we ask that you support the group when and how you can. So please buy a scarf.
It’s become a thing that whenever a new logo or brand or whatever is released then there needs to be a complicated explanation of that product. To wit, here is our detailed breakdown of all the elements of our scarf. If these things don’t meet your needs feel free to change them to whatever you want. After all, this is silly.
Thank you for your time, your support and I can’t wait to #SeeYouAtThePark